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December 2007 - Ask Kim Column
Dear Kim:
I have been married twice, had several relationships in between, a couple of them long term. I know the problem was the fact that I lose interest too easily with these relationships. These men where not the ones for me and perhaps I settled. My friends tell me that I am a Hopeless Romantic, but I like to think of myself as "Hopeful." I feel I will get married again and this time I refuse to settle for just someone to spend time with. Am I really expecting too much out of a relationship? At the age of 50 it is becoming more difficult to meet someone.
Cindy H., 50,
Houston, Texas
Dear Cindy:
Good for you! You've developed the necessary wisdom, enlightenment, and maturity to connect with a Mr. Wonderful! You had to learn about independence and empowerment; and, that it's okay (and often preferable) to spend a little time alone as you wait for that special man to arrive on the scene.
Those men you attracted before were superb teachers for you, and you wouldn't be the lovely women you are now without having experienced what they had to teach. In regard to your age, I have clients in their 20's complaining (and rightly so) about how hard it is to meet somebody! Meeting a soul mate happens when both parties are spiritually and emotionally ready for a heart, mind, body, and soul relationship---and not a moment before.
You DO have a special guy you'll meet online. You two will fall madly in love, get married, and live very happily ever after. The reason you don't want to settle now is because you've sensed that this kind of romance is part of your destiny...and you can feel it in your soul. Join eHarmony; open up your romantic search to the entire US; and fill out the personality questionnaire ALONE. The answers to the eHarmony questions need to be yours, rather than filtered through a girlfriend's idea of who you really are. This time next year, you are very likely to be already married! Go for it!!!
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Dear Kim:
I have a question about my grandson Dylan. He wakes up in the middle of the night screaming and crying. My daughter has gotten very little sleep since he was born and that has been 3 and a half years ago. He will only go back to sleep if it is in a recliner in the living room. Is there anything scaring him? To me, he is too old to be waking up and carrying on like this. He also has a major love of hats. He wears one almost constantly.
Sherry N., 52,
Alvin, Texas
Dear Sherry:
Dylan is experiencing something commonly referred to as "night terrors." These are past life dreams that are very clear and vivid; they take him back to prior lifetimes in which he was traumatized, frightened, victimized, (you get the idea).
For example, he dreams about being part of an army in eastern Europe in the Middle Ages. He was a teenage soldier who was captured, and then horribly tortured and mutilated. (His captor was a guy called Vlad the Impaler. He didn't come by that nickname because he liked to make shishkebabs on the backyard grill. Look Vlad up online, and you'll see what I mean.)
It's no wonder that Dylan screams...these are not happy little strolls down memory lane that he's taking. His soul is returning to the Middle Ages over and over again, to help him heal from those experiences. Almost all children have "night terror" dreams, and they sometimes continue for years. (Mine continued from my past-life traumas in Germany's Bergen-Belsen concentration camp until I was around twelve.)
The important thing to remember is that what he "sees" in his dreams is very real to him---because it actually DID happen. He needs your support, understanding, and lots of cuddles after such a nightmare. Sleeping in the recliner makes him feel safer, so why not allow him to do so? It's certainly not ideal, but he needs to feel as safe and secure as possible. Dylan will outgrow the screaming next year...but not the dreams. He is old enough to remember how you respond to his fear and anxiety...so react with tenderness, kindness, and love. He needs you.
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Dear Kim:
You gave me a reading in May, 2007. I've never had any interest in the mortgage business as you suggested when we spoke. Now I'm just confused! Since we talked, I've decided to live my life one moment at a time, not planning for the distant future. Where I am now in terms of career and life, a major change seems unlikely. I hate retail and all the shit I have to put up with on a daily basis. I feel that I am working harder than most of those around me. With Xmas starting, it seems hard to look/expect to find another job. I realize what you told me months ago is slowly starting to come to fruition, but I am a little anal about timetables. I need stability! I need guidance!
Joel S., 26,
Aurora, CO
Dear Joel:
It isn't easy to go through a major metamorphosis like the one you're experiencing. Questioning one's place in the world is a step in the right direction, and that helps fuel the momentum necessary for meaningful forward movement. You feel confused? Check! You now try to live in the moment? Check! You hate your current job? Check! You feel uncertain about finding another job? Check! You realize that what your guides told you months ago is starting to occur? Check!
Joel...do you see a pattern emerging? You're developing awareness! Yahooo!!! What you need to do to really move your life ahead is to look for another job. NOW. Yes, the holiday season is upon us, but so what?! People get jobs, buy homes, get married, have babies, start new businesses, begin school, go on diets, begin exercise programs, find volunteer work, learn a foreign language, and all sorts of other things at this time of year. You are procrastinating! Stop contemplating your naval; you're talking yourself out of moving forward! Grab your resume and GET OUT THERE!
Here's a little incentive: just think of all the "shit" you'll have to deal with during the holiday season in retail! It will be up to your eyeballs! Why keep arm wrestling the universe? Please pursue the mortgage industry. That would be the best gift you can give yourself. And remember this: you can't be confident about something you haven't done yet. So DO IT, and see how quickly your life starts to change!
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Dear Kim:
My life is falling apart. My business partner and I are splitting up and I am walking away after 4 years of struggling to get the company profitable. I am job searching but I am not having any luck. I have a lot of financial responsibilities; am I going to lose everything that I have worked so hard for? I am really scared.
Linda S., 57,
Houston, Texas
Dear Linda:
This is such a great time in your life. I am so happy for you! You have finally worked through those miserable, difficult issues that have plagued you for so long. (The partner with the ego, the stressful business, the slow paying, unappreciative clients, the constant money concerns, the loneliness, the feeling that you were taking care of everything, that you had nothing to look forward to, etc.)
What you are experiencing is post traumatic stress syndrome. I'm not a shrink, but your angels are telling me that you still haven't gotten your teeth unclenched from all of that emotional turmoil, financial chaos, and spiritual melodrama. Plus, it hasn't yet sunken in that you are finally blessedly FREE from all of that stuff you worked so hard to overcome! You've done it! Of course you're scared...who wouldn't be in the face of so much transition? You said that you're concerned about losing everything...? You won't! You've moved to a completely different chapter of your life.
In the near future, you will once again become entrepreneurial, but on your own terms. Your life will be full of abundance as soon as you let go of the "lack" mentality. Once you get a job, your brain will quiet and you won't be so consumed with worry and anxiety. Your angels have several recommendations for the job hunt: consulting, marketing, and/or event planning would all be terrific careers for you because of your people skills, creativity, drive, and business smarts. The universe keeps trying to tell you that the best is yet to come. Let go of the past. Your new motto should be: "I see the world as a series of limitless opportunities!"
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Would you like Kim to answer a question for you in her column? Please write or email your question, including your name and age. If you'd like information about a private session, you can contact Kim at 281-651-1599, or through our Contact Form.
Kim O'Neill
4008 Louetta Rd
#362
Spring, Texas 77388
kim@kimoneillpsychic.com
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