Dear Kim:
I'm a black woman that gets involved in relationships with older white gentlemen. About a year ago I went on a dating site and met the most wonderful Englishman. We hit it off from the start. On our first date, he mentioned an interview for a new job. The next month, he got the job; and, the following month, his job sent him out of the country. We decided to stop seeing each other, but keep lines of communication open. I recently started to date a younger man that, although we get along great, is more of a friend. We are involved in a sexual relationship, but I am not sure if an exclusive relationship will ever happen. Here is my problem. The English gentleman has come back to town. Although we have mentioned meeting up for drinks and catching up, there has been no conversation about reconnecting as we were before. And, the younger man would be a great friend; don't the best marriages start out as friends first? Is the Englishman contacting me to reconnect and start our relationship again? And if so, is he going to hurt me again or will we be together for the long haul?
Ivory O., 29,
Spring, TX

Dear Ivory:
If you were still in college, the Englishman would be great fun because all he has to offer are dates and sex. He has commitment issues, so this romance will never result in a heart, mind, body, and soul marriage, no matter how intelligent, charming, or gorgeous he thinks you are; or, how good you are in bed. And, honey, trust me on this: if you don’t have the ring, then you do not have a commitment. Put the English bloke behind you and move on.

In regard to the younger man, your angels tell me that you lack the romantic chemistry necessary to fall in love with him. It’s also not a good sign when your mind keeps wandering during sex, so that instead of focusing on the matter at hand (no pun intended) you’re pondering your to-do list! Good marriages involve friendship, of course; but, in romantic soulmate relationships, the steamy, sexy chemistry is typically there from the start and is deliciously distracting and unmistakable. Your Mama didn’t raise any dumb bunnies, so I’d be surprised if you didn’t already sense that neither of these men is right for you. Your angels acknowledge that you are lonely and actively searching for "The One." Be patient! Mr. Wonderful—who is Caucasian by the way—is coming into your life when you are in your early thirties, and you will have two children with him. Trust that your angels will get the two of you together. After all, that’s an important part of their job description.

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Dear Kim:
I am at a crossroads in my life. My husband and I just celebrated 25 years together. I found out recently he was having an affair, not the first one in our relationship. He says he loves me and wants to work it out, but he said that the previous time as well. I don’t know if this is a relationship worth saving.
Ellen F., 50,
Houston, TX

Dear Ellen:
Your hubby has gotten into the habit of saying one thing and doing another. A man does not have sex with a woman because she is holding him at gunpoint, correct? Let’s consider some of the dynamics that may have been involved in your husband’s affairs. First, he found another woman attractive enough to pursue. He was romantic with her and gave her compliments...or she would have NEVER had sex with him. Remember the old saying: a man needs a place and a woman needs a reason? He may have also bought her some small gifts or written her some flirtatious notes or letters. Then, behind your back, he planned a place for them to meet and have sex. When they met, they undressed (partially or completely) and shared themselves intimately with one another. Afterward, he did not feel guilty enough to admit what transpired; nor did he stop seeing her.

An affair is not a one-night stand. Plus, he could have reconsidered his behavior before they had sex because he knew full well how much it would hurt and disappoint you...but he proceeded anyway. And, let’s not forget that this has happened before. When a man is mature, enlightened, and trustworthy, you do not have to extract a promise from him that he will not cheat, and then find yourself crossing your fingers and all other extremities hoping that he will honor that promise. Your hubby will not be willing to get into ongoing therapy, so you have nothing to work with in this relationship. File for divorce before your self-worth is completely shattered. Then, your angels recommend that you get into therapy on your own to find out why you have willingly chosen to remain with a man who has consistently betrayed you. You can still turn your life around and find a relationship with a man who treats you like the goddess that you truly are!

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Dear Kim:
My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a couple years. I’ve never been pregnant before. I’m doing what I know to do to increase our chance of pregnancy, from diet changes to acupuncture. We've had a failed IVF and have been told I may, basically, be too old. I believe our child is out there. Is there anything you can see that I should be doing – or not doing – to make our dream of a family come true? What are my angels telling you? I believe your help could make the difference.
Angela C., 40,
Denver, CO

Dear Angela:
I am not a doctor or a fertility expert, but I "see" you in two pregnancies—with a boy and a girl. Your son and daughter have not been ready to be born, and that has caused (what you consider) a delay in conception. Your angels tell me that it is likely that you’ll get pregnant naturally, without fertility treatments. You and your darling husband are certainly doing everything in your power to conceive, so simply continue the good work.

You should also know that one of your issues is involved with the delay: patience. Try to enjoy this time with your husband because you will never have it back again. I had my babies (without any fertility help) at 44 and 45—because that was my destiny. Your destiny is to be a mature mother, too. Have you considered speaking with your unborn babies? Email your mailing address and I'll forward a copy of my new book, Bond With Your Baby Before Birth. Have faith that if you do not give up your dream, the two little people who have chosen you as a mother will come…in their own time, not yours!

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Dear Kim:
I've been pondering over whether or not I should go for a name change for my career. I want to know that it will be good for me and not a rash decision (even though I've been thinking about it for over a year). I just need to be sure I'm making the right decision.
Kristin C., 19,
PA

Dear Kristin:
Why have you been hesitating and contemplating your naval when you know it’s the right thing to do? Go, girl, go!


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Kim O'Neill
4008 Louetta Rd
#362
Spring, Texas 77388
kim@kimoneillpsychic.com

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