|
March 2008 - Ask Kim Column
Dear Kim:
A couple of years ago, I spent just three days in Florence, Italy, and of course I loved it. Since that time, there's been little else on my mind. My husband and I have put our house on the market and we're waiting for a buyer, thinking to live somewhere in Italy. We live in Australia and the money exchange to Euro is not kind. Will we sell our house soon and can you tell me if we can manage our dream financially?
Dany R., 60,
Yass, Australia
Dear Dany:
You're feeling such a huge pull toward Florence because it's your destiny to live there! Plus, it might interest you to know that you (and your hubby) have lived there in a number of past lifetimes and that's why it felt so familiar to you.
While it is true that you have spiritually, emotionally, and mentally outgrown your life in Australia, there are still a few pesky loose ends to tie up. Your home will sell within 30 days if you're willing to come down $5,000. You and Mr. Wonderful could relocate to a suburb of Florence this spring. Your angels are suggesting that you consider buying a small villa (in some need of repair) and once you have done a little renovating…turn it into a B&B. The B&B can be a new, additional source of income that will allow you to have a lovely life in Italy. If you decide not to follow their advice and open a B&B, you will still be able to afford the area-although you'll be on a rather strict budget. However, it's a small price to pay for living in paradise! You two will travel all over Italy, and it's going to be the happiest, most peaceful time in your lives. You are absolutely doing the right thing!
----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Kim:
My 16 year old daughter moved to her dad's house in November-it was a shock and surprise to me. I am working hard to focus on her need to explore her life's path and not my need for control. I have also focused a lot on forgiving her father and myself for our divorce 5 years ago. While I do not think she and I will be permanently estranged, the idea that it may be several years before we are close again fills me with sadness. I recently lost two very good friends and have been asking for their help from the other side but am not sure I am hearing them. I have found gifts in all this pain; but the pain, and all my struggles to not worry about the future, and sense of loss/letting go of my daughter remain.
Michele C., 44,
Humble, Texas
Dear Michele:
You had to divorce your husband...so, second guessing that decision is a complete waste of your precious time and energy. You've been torturing yourself with self-recriminating thoughts such as "I should have done this instead…" and "I could have done that instead…" Let it go! You're divorced...so choose to move on with your life by refusing to look back. No more mulling over the past.
Your ex and your daughter had been in conversations for some time about her moving in with him. It's truly a good thing. Your daughter is working on developing her independence and empowerment, so she needs to distance herself from you-the parent with whom she has the closest relationship-for a little while to finish that spiritual work. Your daughter is also a spiritual teacher for her dad, helping him understand more about accountability, as well as honoring promises and commitments. While she lives with him, he's going to feel like he has a sixteen-year-old mother who expects him to answer to her! (I'm chuckling as I write.)
You were also a teacher for him, but he chose not to learn from you during your marriage...so the universe has sent in the big guns (AKA: your daughter, Ms. Rambo and The Terminator combined) to force him to mature. Make no mistake: your beautiful baby-who isn't exactly the most subtle person in the world-will grab him in a headlock, and drag him kicking and screaming. She'll be back in your home within a year, "like, oh my god...totally frustrated!" with dad, and wanting to develop a brand new relationship with you built upon mutual trust, respect, and admiration.
----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Kim:
I recently have been involved with a divorced man about 8 years older than me. He has a kid about 5 or 6 years old with his ex. My parents oppose this relationship greatly because they don't see a good future for me and him because he already has a kid. I am torn between choosing my family and this guy since he has been so great to me during the past months.
Kim L., 27,
Houston, Texas
Dear Kim:
First of all, if this guy were Mr. Wonderful, you'd know. He is a great guy, but he's not The One. The real issue here is the fact that at 27, you feel that you owe your family explanations about the choices you make. If you decide to get into a relationship with a two-headed, purple Gila monster with twenty offspring, who lives under a rock, and has no job...it's strictly your business.
Consider how free you'd feel if you suddenly didn't care about-or need-the approval, endorsement, or permission from your family about your decisions! No more playing tug-of-war if your folks-or anyone else, for that matter-object to your choices. Of course, they are entitled to their opinion; but, when a situation comes down to being "torn between choosing my family and this guy," you have painted yourself into an emotional corner. That's why this nice guy came along! He was to help you mature and develop confidence with your own decision making.
This means that when your choices do not meet the expectations of others, you are able to move forward anyway, trusting in your instincts, knowing you're doing what's best for you. (This is a hard issue; I didn't get it resolved until I was 40!) When you successfully work through this issue of needing other people's approval and endorsement, a true Mr. Wonderful will come along. And, you'll happily ride off into the sunset with him-regardless of the opinions of others.
----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Kim:
I have just finished reading your book, Discover Your Spiritual Destiny. It is a wonderful book with so much useful information! My questions are: I feel that I am not in the right track with my career. I feel so bored! I feel that I would be more suited to becoming an interior decorator. Am I correct on this? Will I start my own business? Also, I feel that my marriage needs help. Do you see my husband and I working through this or will we divorce? If so when?
Marcelle S., 37,
Ontario, Canada
Dear Marcelle:
You think you're bored now?! You'd really become disenchanted if you became an interior decorator! It's a wonderful, exciting profession...it's just not for you-in spite of the fact that you're very gifted with interior design. For example, after you'd put your heart and soul into trying to please a client, you would become very frustrated with complaints such as, "oh...this isn't really what I had in mind..." or "what do you mean I have to wait six weeks for my furniture?" or "I know we've already considered hundreds of paint swatches, but I'm still not sure..." or "I know I've been sitting on the fence for five months, but now that I've decided to work with you, can you finish my entire home in two weeks...just in time for the holidays?"
Have you heard people describe decorating as "retail therapy?" Well, interestingly, Marcelle, your life's purpose involves working as a professional therapist...without the retail! You'd be very happy in your own counseling practice, seeing clients one-on-one and helping them resolve issues. This would make your heart and soul sing. Start taking the necessary classes NOW! And to be frank, you've already outgrown your marriage, and I see a divorce with the next two years. If you muster the courage to move forward as your angels are directing, you could be in your own counseling practice and a new, spectacular marriage within the next five years. The best of luck to you!
----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Kim:
I have written to you a couple of times since my reading in Dec 05, with basically the same question. Yet, my question is never in the column. During my reading, you told me to join eHarmony to meet my soulmate. I've had dates...and no Mr. Wonderful thus far! I do realize that I am continuing to evolve and grow...and that sometimes the outcomes can change...but what happened?
Patty P., 47,
Hancock, MI
Dear Patty:
I wish I could answer every submission I receive for the Ask Kim Column, but I get hundreds-sometimes thousands-of requests every month. I appreciate your understanding. One of the reasons Mr. Wonderful has been delayed is because of an issue you are working on...patience! The universe is trying to tell you that you must bloom where you are planted. In other words...enjoy each and every moment of your life as if you already had everything that you desire right at hand. Not an easy task, of course; but, that is your challenge right now. The sooner you exercise patience, and decide to bloom where you are, Mr. Wonderful will come into your life. Don't give up hope...he is coming! Remain on eHarmony; your angels still feel that they can maneuver him into your life through that online dating service. Have faith! It will happen!
----------------------------------------------------------
Would you like Kim to answer a question for you in her column? Please write or email your question, including your name and age. If you'd like information about a private session, you can contact Kim at 281-651-1599, or through our Contact Form.
Kim O'Neill
4008 Louetta Rd
#362
Spring, Texas 77388
kim@kimoneillpsychic.com
Back to Main Ask Kim Page
|
|
